Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...it's a secret

This is a big secret (which is why I'm putting it out on the Internet for the whole world to read, but really, I think only 4 people read my blog), so I apologize for not telling those of you who know me in real life.*  The Husband and I are going to meet with an adoption attorney in the near future to see what our options are with regard to adopting another child.  Regardless of what the attorney has to say, we probably won't move forward with starting the adoption process for at least another year; we just want to know what our options are.  We think that we will be looking at an adoption through the county or state.  Because of my mental illness, we're disqualified from an international adoption and I'm guessing that a person looking to do a private adoption probably wouldn't pick us.  Although I would love to do an international adoption, they are incredibly expensive and an adoption through the state or county is much more practical for us financially. 

Why adoption?  I'm guessing that is a question that I will have to get used to hearing a lot.  There are a lot of reasons.  As the aunt to four adopted children, I think that I have a different take on adoption than others may.  It's weird--I've watched my sister go through three previous adoptions and basically felt nothing and then this time when I was looking at the pictures from Haiti something moved in my heart and I thought that this is something that I really want.  There is one little girl in particular and I saw her picture, which looked both happy and said at the same time and something inside me said "I need one."  The idea of another child has been creeping into my mind for awhile now.  For me adoption is the only reasonable option.  I can't have another baby.  I'm doing well, but I can't imagine coming off my medication for any length of time.  Being pregnant on my medication is also not practical.  I also worry about postpartum depression, which I know I had with Sweet Pea.  I worry all the time about having passed my bipolar disorder to Sweet Pea and I can't knowingly do that to another child.

So, that's the news...  For those that may want some specifics--we want a girl so Sweet Pea will have a sister.  We could care less about race, however we want a child age 3 or under (I would like one under age 2, because I still want a baby).  We are in the thinking stages of adopting a child with special needs.  I am more sold on that than The Husband, but I have been thinking about this for longer.  Should you talk to me in real life, don't mention this to The Husband** or my parents.***

And now to work things...

Remember back on June 15 I told you about this girl that is marginally in charge of me that I really don't like but was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt?  It's official now.  I don't like her.   She is one of the most contrary people that I have ever met.  In a recent training class she got into an argument with a guy about the flavor of Arby's curly fries.  (Her position was that curly fries are flavorless--curly fries are many things, but flavorless isn't one of them.)  I think that she argues for the sake of arguing.  She's also just mean.  During the same training class she admitted how she loves giving participants bad news, especially telling them that stuff has expired and that they can no longer sell their shares.  I hate delivering bad news.  In my past positions it was my responsibility to move heaven and earth for my participants.  Telling them no is really hard and I can't believe that someone would enjoy ruining someone's day like that, especially when people are counting on this money.  Finally, and to me the worst, this girl has talked openly in a negative way about kids with autism and down syndrome in a room full of people--I was hoping the someone with a child with one of those conditions would call  her out.  I was biting my tongue (almost literally) so hard at that point because her comments were so ignorant and insensitive.  We aren't going to be friends, I'm never going to like her and I've decided that I don't have to try. 

That's the news for now--I think about writing all the time.  I just need to get better about sitting down and actually doing it.

Remember...it's a secret.

*I think that sentence might suck--the parenthetical probably doesn't help...oh well

**He would be thrilled that it's now on the Internet

***Not that any of you talk to my parents, but it's not time for them to know yet.