I'm writing on my iPhone on the way home from my niece's wedding, so we'll see how far I get. Everyone is asleep but me and we've stopped in TN for the night.
I'll probably write a longer post about it, but Emily's wedding provided so much joy and sorrow and emotion. It was one of those times when you really understand what "my cup overfloweth" means. Emily was so beautiful as a bride that I cried when we saw here before the wedding. I also can't remember when I've seen my sister so happy. In the midst of all the happy, I felt some meloncolia.
I turned 35 this year and for the most part I don't even think about my age. However, watching Emily and Paul and all their friends last night with abandonment and no self image issues, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I would never be like that again--I am old now. It's kind of funny because I've always been so self conscious and never liked dancing because I feel like everyone is staring at me. Finally last night they played "At Last" by Etta James and I was actually feeling like dancing, but then I couldn't find The Husband.
I wish, just once in my life, that I could have danced like these kids at the wedding. Say what you want about bad modern parenting, but these kids all looked like they were beloved by their families and that the armor of their self esteem was firmly in tact. That is what I want to be when I grow up.
Tune in next time when I cry and write about my complicated tmrelationship with my sisters...
*There's a reward if you know from where I stole that title.
