Um....

Today was hard and I don't have a lot to tell that is amusing.

Last night at 8:30 I took two sleeping pills (which is an allowed dosage, don't get worried) and slept last night. I could definitely use more sleep like that and my plan is to do the same thing tonight, once the Husband gets home. (I won't take sleeping pills when I'm home alone with Sweet Pea.)

I worked a lot with Mr. X today. After working for The Man, who was an extremely volatile person (and not very most of the time), I can't get over how nice Mr. X is. Honestly, everyone at The Big Cheese Financial Group is really nice. The Big Cheese has put together a good crew. However, everyone has their quirks. Today I learned some more... In addition to liking paper clips in the upper left hand corner, The Big Cheese like commas. (I also like commas and think that I over use them, but I'm nothing compared to The Big Cheese.) Since it's The Big Cheese's company, he can tell everyone how to use their commas. For example, I was taught that when writing "there were red, blue, and green shirts" that you could omit the comma between "blue" and "and." Not so in The Big Cheese's world--he wants that comma there. Mr. X also has some quirks of his own and is very minimal with his writing. He does not like the use of "that" in a sentence. A big part of my job is going to be writing for (and as if I am) Mr. X, so getting used to leaving out the "that's" will be hard. Right now there is a big Post-It note on my desk that says "Don't use THAT."

I worked on my first project for The Godfather today. True to form, once I had it done and went to look for him to see what he wanted next he was gone (and no one had seen him leave).

I thought that I was feeling okay today. I made it through work without a lot of trouble. I think that must have used up most of my mental stamina for the day. After work Sweet Pea and I went to the grocery store. (I took her to the fancy one that has child care so I could shop alone, which pissed off the Husband, but I don't care.) I was in the store shopping and the overwhelming sadness hit like a big wave when I was in the cereal isle. Since then I've been trying not to cry. I would go ahead and give in, except I know from experience that crying doesn't do any good and I usually feel worse afterwords.

Two other nasty side effects of this illness are irritability and a lack of concentration. Anyone with young children will understand that they irritate you a lot of the time anyway. I hate how much Sweet Pea irritates me and how I react towards her during these times. I wish that she was old enough to understand that I'm not feeling well. I do tell her, but to her being sick is something like having a cold. The concentration issues are really hard too and that's why two summers ago I needed to take the 12 weeks off of work. Tonight was Sweet Pea's ballet class, which I usually look forward to, but today it was driving me crazy. There was too much movement and noise and it felt like the kids were not paying attention and that all the parents were louder than usual. I wanted to put my hands over my ears and scream. I am glad to be home now and also that it is the weekend, so there isn't anything to do for two days.

One last thing--don't feel bad if you're a person that I talk to regularly and I'm not talking about this stuff. It is hard to talk about and much easier to just write down.