When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Triangle*

Yesterday, after two previous cancellations, I had my first review at BCFG. I haven't had a review in five years (The Man didn't believe in them), so I was slightly nervous. I think that I am awesome at my job, but you never really know what others are thinking about you. My review was with both The Big Cheese and Mr. X. To quickly sum up my review, and get to the good stuff, I am averagely-awesome . Their only criticism of me is that I don't share more of my knowledge. Mr. X said during the Monday Morning Meetings he can frequently see the wheels turning in my head and gets frustrated that I don't say anything. I agreed to share more. I'm quiet because I'm not quite comfortable there yet and because I've seen these people go 10 rounds over what to put in a Christmas card and frequently I don't want to get involved in that. This made a very nice transition and allowed me to talk about how I'm not challenged. With the previous cancellations, I've had about two weeks to figure out both what I want to say and how I want to say it. It took 12 years in the workforce, but I think that I'm finally old (or maybe mature) enough that everything came out right.**

After my review came the true awesome-ness... In the past several years, Mr. X's responsibilities have expanded to the point that he's basically at the breaking point. Originally, I was hired to take a lot of stuff off of his plate, but somehow I morphed into the Review Guru***. I'm clearly unhappy with this role and was able to articulate it in a positive way. Two things are going to happen--they are planning to hire a full time person to truly take some stuff over from Mr. X and to prevent him from having a heart attack. I was offered this position, which was flattering, but I don't want a full time job, and that was okay with everyone. The second thing (which is more exciting to me, because it's about ME) is that I will soon get a real job that uses my skills and isn't something that I could train a high school intern to do. I'm going to start controlling the client meeting calendar for Mr. X, Mole and the Godfather (so they can no longer pile their shit on me all at the same time). I will still do the reviews, but then I will also handle all post-meeting follow up and client communication, which will take advantage of my skills and allow me to use my brain on a regular basis. During my review I said "I feel like I'm getting stupider" several times. (I realize that "more stupid" is grammatically correct, but I felt like "stupider" got my point across better.)

After that was settled, we discussed even more awesome-ness.........I'M GOING TO GET TO WORK FROM HOME AGAIN! This is literally due to my Triangle. I work in a triangle because our office is full to capacity and the corner of the hallway was the only place to put me. They have 7 more years on their lease in the building, so moving to a new office isn't practical. Since they are going hire someone full time to support Mr. X, that person will inherit my Triangle and because there is no place to put me, I get to go back home. And............it looks like I'm going to GET TO GO BACK TO MY THREE DAY A WEEK SCHEDULE. When we were talking about all of this, I brought up the fact that I think that I get more done in full work days, as opposed to the short days, so we talked about my going back to my old schedule, with a full compliment of connective devices, so I can check in with the office on a regular basis. I don't care about that--I'll get to be home again. This will mean that I don't have to worry about what to do with Sweet Pea when she is sick or there is a snow day and I'll get to help out at school with lunch again. I never thought that I'd miss lunch so much.

Of course, none of this is set in stone, but it seems pretty likely. It's not going to happen overnight, but I think it will happen. My new job responsibilities are starting already and should be fully implemented by the time that 4th quarter numbers are released in the middle of January. I'm thinking that I may be able to go to the three day a week schedule sooner rather than later. I probably won't start working from home***** until they hire someone to take my Triangle, so I see a light at the end of my tunnel.

I truly felt like crap when I lost my job last October and even though it's been over a year, I was still feeling crappy**** about it. I was lucky to find my job at BCFG in this economy, and especially since so many good people in my field are without work. I should have been happy to be in my Triangle, but I wasn't. Yesterday I started to feel hope again. I used to really like work. Now I think that I could again. I haven't felt like the kind of person that good things happen to lately, but (although it took awhile), I think that this was a case of God closing a door and opening a Triangle.


*I was going to write this yesterday, because it is very exciting for me, but I had to finish my stupid continuing education and take my Anti-Money Laundering course, which was due December 1--I got done 2 whole days early! Although, after completing the course, I feel like I know more about how to integrate dirty money back into the economy than I know about how to recognize and stop money laundering. Damn Patriot Act...

**Rehearsing several things in my car for two weeks didn't hurt either. I'm a big believer in saying things out loud. I used to practice before difficult client meetings. I also just enjoy listening to myself talk.

***The Big Cheese's term, I think I prefer Review Bitch, although I wouldn't use that at the office.

****I know I should work to come up with better adjectives than "crappy."

*****Want to know one of the things that I'm most excited about? It's not having an intimate knowledge of the bathroom habits of all the men in my office. My triangle is much too close to the bathroom and these guys are just gross. Really really gross.