I could really use a drink

We went out for Mexican (at an order by number because no one speaks English and it's really tasty) restaurant tonight, partly to celebrate my being done with work crap and partly because I'm exhausted and refused to cook. And we have no food... Anyway, everyone around me was getting margaritas and I was so close to saying "liver be damned--I need a drink." Actually, I would kind of like to drink myself into oblivion and wake up after Thanksgiving. That is a bad idea and I won't be doing that.

I would also like to sleep all weekend, waking up only to get a haircut and to go shopping for a better fitting pair of jeans. That might happen...

Today was the meeting with the psychologist at Sweet Pea's school. Right now the only positive thing that I can think about the meeting was that I didn't cry while it was going on. Later I will realize that they said a lot of really good things about my daughter. Right now, I'm not really hearing those. The Husband forgot the meting, despite it being on his calendar, my reminding him last night and this morning and Sweet Pea's teacher reminding him this morning. It was both better and worse because he wasn't there, but that may be a story for another day.

For some good news... Abby scored right in the middle of average on the IQ/cognitive testing. The dyslexia testing was inconclusive. She shows a lot of the symptoms of dyslexia, but right now her reading is too good. Apparently, letter reversal is still normal up to the third grade. They are going to repeat the testing either at the end of this year or the beginning of third grade.

Now for the stuff that I'm handling less well... The psychologist and Sweet Pea's teacher think that the ADD is significant enough that it warrants medication. I know that the ADD drugs are a lot better than they used to be and that they help tons of kids, but the idea of medication is really hard to process. I want her to be perfect with no need for medication.

In addition to the IQ, dyslexia, and ADD testing, they also did some "testing" (if that's the right word) of Sweet Pea's general mood and behavior. At school she is socially awkward*, gets picked last in gym and other activities when the pick partners. She is a loner and the other girls seem to have little patience with her because she is in her own world. She also seems sad, depressed and extremely anxious a lot of the time. Again, the words "I'm bi-polar" were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't get them out. It doesn't seem quite as bad at home, and I would disagree with a lot of this stuff if I didn't really trust her teacher and if I hadn't seen how upset she is when she talks about the girls not playing with her at recess sometimes. She has a lot of really negative self-talk where she tells herself that she's stupid or ugly. I had no idea that started at seven.

The fact that she's having such a hard time strengthens the need for medication for me. My hope is that if we can fix the ADD then all the other stuff will fix itself. That's all I can hope for right now.

I could write a lot more, but I'm just warn out...

One more thing that also made today suck...since The Husband didn't come to the meeting I had to tell him about it. When I told him about the psychologist and her teacher's concerns about her mood and behavior, his first words were "do they think that she's bi-polar?" Way to rub some salt in my wounds Husband.

I'm sure I'll write more about this, but Sweet Pea wants me to watch "Wizards of Waverly Place" with her. I want to go to sleep and to have this have never happened.

*Yes, they used that word--no need to spare the mother's feelings or anything