Trite or Trivializing

I've tried to come up with a title for this post, but everything that I think of is either trite or trivializing, so we'll just call it that.

R's husband passed away last Sunday, on her birthday, and today was the funeral.  I was a lovely service, but very sad, as you would expect.  He was 33 years old.  I'm glad that I had the details and that The Husband and I were able to attend.

Of course, attending this funeral meant that I was going to see lots of people from my former Triangle.  (This is where this post is going to be insensitively all about me, because I'm just like that.)  I had expected everyone (with the exception of K, who never got along with R) to be at the funeral since R worked there for over 12 years, but that was not the case.  Seriously, no one there has manners.  They never did.  Only Mama X, Mr. and Mrs. X, Mr. and Mrs. Big Cheese, and the Mole were in attendance.  We talked to Mama X before the service while the family was receiving visitors and spoke to everyone else afterwords.  I am so glad that I have a job.  My job sounds very impressive and important when I explain the details and both Mr. X and The Big Cheese were suitably impressed.  The Husband noted on several occasions how I very politely shut them down.  I didn't even know that I was doing that.  I did notice that seemed kind of in awe when I rattled off the client list that I'd be working with.  (It's an extremely impressive list--but one that I can't share this way.)  As I was talking to Mr. X and The Big Cheese, I was realizing (again--this was not a new realization) that in the ten months that I was there they never really "saw" me.  I think today, just maybe, that realized a tiny bit of what they let slip through their fingers.  I am happier now.  And now I will never see them again, unless we somehow run into each other at Whole Foods.

I am very sad for R and for her husband's family.  It has been a very emotional day.

(Also, I have a new favorite song--it's an "Alleluia" by a modern composer.  I won't make you listen to it, but I've been listening to it on my iPhone on repeat all day and it seems to be keeping the panic attacks away.  Last night I listened to Thomas Tallis on repeat all night and slept better than I have in a long time.  I need to figure out how to get the music on my iPhone to turn off after a few hours and then have the alarm wake me up, so I can always sleep like that.)