I'm training in a live system. There are no dummy accounts. Since I will soon have the authority to place trades they went ahead and built my screen with this big red button that says "Submit Order." Supposedly the red button isn't supposed to work, but...live system...we can't test that out. I live in fear every day that I'm going to submit an order by accident and sell someones shares. Whomever built the system didn't think things through because the "Model Transaction" button is right next to the "Submit Order" button. We model transactions in training all the time to see what would happen if a trade was placed. I'll also model transactions all the time when I'm actually working to give people different scenarios to execute their trades.* If I'd built the system, I'd have put the "Model Transaction" button as far away from the "Submit Order" button as possible to try and prevent accidental pushings, but (as usual) no one asked me. Bottom line--click carefully and enjoy the little panic attack that you have every time you model a trade thinking "did I just hit that red button by accident?"
Last night I discovered that my body does not tolerate the "Pam" family of drugs. Lorazepam, Diazepam, and all their friends in the benzodiazepines family. These drugs are supposed to reduce anxiety, but they make mine worse. I think that I've said this before, but I feel like I'm living in a constant state of "fight or flight." The Pam drugs are supposed to relax you, and for me they relax my body, but not enough to sleep, and they certainly don't quiet my mind. I had an extremely bad experience last night--I would describe it as feeling like you needed to run away from a lion, but then finding that your legs wouldn't work. Thankfully the Pam that I took last night was a fast acting one, so it wore off quickly. I ended up huddled on the couch, alone in the dark, eating Oreos** until it wore off. This morning I called my doctor, whom I seem to have stumped. He asked me if I could make it through the weekend, which I can. He wants to think about it, and hopefully on Monday he'll have come up with a non-Pam anxiety drug. Or, if I can stick it out for about two weeks, I'll know if the increased dosage on my mood stabilizer is working, and then maybe I won't need anything else. Do you all get tired of reading about my pharmacology? It helps me to write it down. The Husband isn't a great listener when it comes to this stuff.
For some good news--I don't think I broke my tooth. I think that I just broke some bonding off my tooth. According to the dentist, my teeth are too big for my mouth, so before I got braces they had to pull several teeth to make room for everything. After I got my braces off, my teeth were bonded to make them the same size and shape of everyone else's teeth. After careful examination, it looks like I just ground off some binding (which is why my tooth doesn't hurt). It is kind of annoying, so I'll have to make a dentist appointment soon to get it fixed. Since bonding is not as hard as teeth, grinding off my binding sounds less scary to me.
The Husband just finished my Häagen-Dazs without asking. That wasn't very nice. It's probably because I was correcting him regarding Facebook. (But there's a big difference between a shareholder and a venture capitalist and it was getting on my nerves...just like everything lately.)
*Whose still with me? I'd have lost The Husband by now. He's currently not talking to me because I kept correcting him when he was trying to talk about the Facebook IPO. I probably shouldn't have done that, but I didn't really sleep last night and I'm grouchy.
**Probably not the best choice, but it made me feel better
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