We settle (un)comfortably into a cuckoo’s nest.

I stole today's title from Dani Burlison, who wrote this wonderful (and sometimes sad) piece about depression and getting better.

Today The Husband and I had a meeting with Sweet Pea's teacher about her medication. She is having such a hard time at school because the medication makes her so emotional. She cries for reasons that she can't understand and has now finally told us that one of the kids in her class is bullying her. Like saying mean things bullying, but also hitting and kicking. She has been afraid to say anything to anyone because she doesn't want to get in trouble for tattling. Thankfully, we had a good meeting with her teacher and found out that Sweet Pea is not the only one have trouble with this boy (his parents are coming in for a conference next week). I am planning to kick this kid's ass the next time that I see him and probably his father's too, since the kid has a smart mouth, exactly like the father's. (They are the only family in Sweet Pea's class that I don't like.) Sweet Pea's teacher talked to her after our meeting and explained that she needs to tell when someone calls her names or hurts her, like this kid is doing. She even gave Sweet Pea a code, so that Sweet Pea can tell her that she wants to talk privately without the whole class knowing.

I did find out today that another child has been sticking up for Sweet Pea, so I sent his mom an email. This little boy has had his share of problems at school, although he's not a bad kid--just kind of misunderstood. Although I don't know for sure, I think that he may be going through something similar to Sweet Pea, so he has a lot of empathy. It is nice to know that someone is sticking up for her.

This brings me back to drugs...I have no idea what to do. The Vyvanse has made a huge difference academically for Sweet Pea. If you could see her pre and post Vyvanse handwriting, you wouldn't know that it's the same kid. She's able to focus so much better at school. However, she is riding these uncontrollable emotional highs and lows. At home she can be a terror--throwing herself down and kicking and screaming (which she never did before; not even as a toddler). I have been worried several times that The Husband is going to dislocate her shoulder because we have to manhandle her into the car some mornings to get her to school. (I wonder now how much of that is because of the bullying.) The Vyvanse has changed her and I want my daughter back. In addition to all the emotional stuff, she's developed uncontrolled muscle movements (not quite tics, but these weird herky-jerky movements that she's never had before) and she does a lot of weird vocalizations (also brand new). Both of these things are listed as side effects of the drug. By my scale, she's also lost 2 lbs in about 5 weeks, which is a lot to lose when you only weighed 60 lbs to start with. If I had my way, we would throw the drugs away and say "school be damned." Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. I am really hoping that we get some good answers at the doctor tomorrow. If the doctor could tell me that we just have to put up with this for X months until her body gets used to the medication, I could deal with that, but I don't think I can keep treating her when it feels like the "cure" is worse than the disease.