I just finished giving Sweet Pea her first dose of Ritalin LA (the LA stands for "long acting," so we will hopefully see 8-10 hours of symptom relief from one pill and she won't have to go to the nurse during the school day for a second one.) The Ritalin comes as a capsule that you can open up and sprinkle over food if you can't swallow the pills. We have practiced pill swallowing*, but this morning Sweet Pea was scared to try once she saw the size of the Ritalin. The pills aren't big**, but they are bigger than a Mini M&M. Thankfully, while getting the prescription filled, we also picked up some chocolate pudding, and I gave her the little bead things from inside the pill mixed into two bites of pudding. She took it really well and now I'm afraid to leave her alone because of the potential side effects. I'm also watching like a hawk to see if I see anything different. We are going to see "The Nutcracker" today, so it will be interesting to see if she can sit still more easily. I feel like I'll get a truer test of the medication's effectiveness on Tuesday when she has her violin lesson after school. I see the most symptoms in her during that time.
My job...I don't even know what to say...I'm working on a plan/counter-offer for them right now. I'm also planning various forms of physical violence in my head--many involve a big hammer.*** I plan to inquire about the full time position, which I would consider provided they would meet my conditions. I feel like I don't have a lot to lose with either countering their initial offer or offering to take the full time position with some pretty big conditions. I've already lost 43% of my pay--once you get over the initial shock, something like that tends to make a person brave. I've come up with some good ideas about things that they aren't doing right now than I am going to add to my part-time counter-offer proposal.
Right now though, I am still just really angry. Yesterday was an extremely awkward day at work between me and Mr. X. I know he was waiting for me to say something, but I wasn't ready to talk yet. I'm still working on what I want and I'm not saying a word until I am positive that I can do it emotion-free. Yesterday I felt like there was still a small risk of crying. I just did my work at my desk, like any other day. It's weird, because for what will probably be the very short term, Mr. X is giving me more responsibilities. I know that he just needs to get stuff pushed off of his desk, but I hope at some point that they see how capable I am and realize what they are doing. That's probably wishful thinking, though. I'm starting to believe that none of them can see further than the end of their own nose.
*Our doctor gave us a great way to practice--you use Mini M&Ms. They are small and non-threatening, so your child can get used to the swallowing motions before you have to do a pill. After practicing, you also have Mini M&Ms for a reward.
**Says the girl who can swallow 8 vitamin sized horse pills at one time.
***Hold on there Internet Police--I would never actually hit someone with a hammer. It's just kind of fun to think about sometimes.
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